5 life lessons from my houseplants: Growing in your 20’s.

The world started to feel even more daunting when I entered my 20s. I’m an adult—like, a real adult—but at the same time, I still feel like a child trying to figure out this massive, complicated world. People my age are buying houses, getting married, starting families. Others are traveling, exploring new places, and eating their way through life-changing experiences. And then there’s me: a 22-year-old with a 2:1 degree in Graphic Communication, back living with my parents after four years in Bath.

I love my parents, and I love being home. But after living independently, the adjustment was tough. Freedom meant spontaneous social gatherings, easy meet-ups with friends who lived just a short walk or bus ride away.

Now, back in rural Pembrokeshire, seeing friends often involves a car journey—and while I’m grateful to have a license and a car, it’s not the same. Plus, most meet-ups now revolve around grabbing a pint, which isn’t exactly convenient when you’re driving. It’s a weird transition—from being a social butterfly to spending quiet evenings at home, often tending to my plants.

And you know what? That shift taught me something.

National Botanic Garden of Wales

At first, I threw myself into caring for my plants partly because I needed a distraction. I’ve always loved them—had a big collection in Bath—but now they became my new “going out.” It might sound sad to some people, but hear me out: when you care for something outside of yourself, it has this way of reflecting your own needs back at you. It hit me one day—if my plants need so much sunlight, water, and attention to thrive, maybe I do too.

What Plants Taught Me About Myself

Fast forward to now, being 24, I have learnt that the way I care for my plants should be a somewhat reflection on the way I should care for myself. Plants need sunlight to grow, water to stay hydrated, fertiliser for nutrients, and space to thrive. They need to adapt to different environments and need the right soil to reach their full potential. Thinking about all that care, I realised how little attention I was giving myself. Most days, I was dehydrated, eating poorly, and avoiding sunlight altogether. Pretend you’re your favourite plant for a moment. What would caring for you look like?

Would you check on yourself every day to see how you’re doing?
Would you make sure you weren’t “drowning” in stress or completely dried out?
Would you look for “pests”—the toxic things or people eating away at your peace—and deal with them quickly?

It sounds deep, maybe even a little “wishy-washy,” but caring for my plants has genuinely helped me reflect on my own growth. Not every plant will thrive, and not every moment of self-care will go perfectly either. Plants get attacked by pests, suffer when you move them to a new spot, or just randomly decide to die despite your best efforts (RIP to my Alocasia). But these struggles are part of the process.

Just like plants, we have to adapt to change and keep going.

The Pressure to Have It All Together

Figuring out life in my 20s has been… difficult. And I’m only 24, so I know I’ve barely scratched the surface. But there’s this unspoken pressure to have your life perfectly together. You’re supposed to have a stable, well-paid job as soon as you graduate, drive a nice car, be in a healthy, stable relationship, and maintain a perfectly curated lifestyle—fit, fashionable, always glowing on Instagram. And let me ask you: is that what having your life together means?

I don’t think so.

So who are we doing all this for? Ourselves, or other people?

The moment I started focusing on the present moment—on doing things that make me happy and proud—I realised life isn’t so bad. It’s not a race to reach a destination. It’s about how you get there. Your 20s are meant to be character-building years. Be kind to yourself. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and think about what you want instead.

Split Leaf Philodendron - National Botanic Garden of Wales

Slow Down and Look Around

Take one small step toward your goals today. Just one.

And if it feels like you’re not moving fast enough, remind yourself: you’re going to be okay.

Stop running. Slow down. Breathe. Look around.

Do you even know where you’re going? Or are you just trying to catch up to everyone else? Because maybe—just maybe—you don’t even want to end up where they’re going. And that’s okay.

That’s their journey. None of your business.

Care about your journey. Care about where you want to go. And don’t run. Just walk. Look up. Look at the sky. The world is enormous, and you’re one tiny human in it. There’s no race to win.

Take care of your plants—and take care of yourself, too.